The New TV Hearthrobs

The advent of Tivo (oh blessed magical box) has certainly enhanced our lives (we can watch that many more shows, and more efficiently, with no rewinding of VHS tapes and checking of schedules. And we get a cool peanut-shaped remote, to boot.) However, commercial watching has suffered, due to the fact that Tivo makes skipping commercials so much easier. Commercials, you scoff? Why the heck would we want to watch commercials?

My dear friends…there are two spokes models, heartthrobs, really, who light the commercial scene on fire. Advancing at triple-Tivo-speed past their commercials is a travesty! You would miss their wide, soulful eyes, their velvety, sensual voices, their charming European accents…I am talking, of course, of the sexiness that is the Geico Gecko and the Nasonex Bee.

The Geico Gecko (GG) has a sleek, lithely green body that can easily dance the Thriller dance, if he so chooses. (But why abase himself like those other lizards? He doesn’t need a Super Bowl spot, Naomi Campbell or Sobe Life Water to make him cool and sexay.) His huge eyes are endless pools of deep, gentle wisdom. His delicate hands and feet show his artistic sensitivity; his quirky smile hints at a wicked sense of humor. And his accent…what is it about a British cockney accent?! Plus he can dance the Robot! A truly well-rounded Gecko. Swoon. And I’ll take ten of whatever you’re selling. Which happens to be car insurance.

Then we have the fiery, passionate Nasonex Bee (NB), voiced by Antonio Banderas, who is nearly as attractive as the Bee, but lacks the (pardon the puns) sting and buzz. Nasonex Bee’s smooth Spanish accent, coupled with his wistful, watery eyes, crooked white smile, authoritatively stern eyebrows, and graceful, yet manly flitting, is the stuff of romance novel covers and legend. Yes, I will follow you to the garden; Yes, I will follow you into the woods. Yes, I will spray the stuff up my nose even though I don’t have allergies…anything for you Nason. Will you bee mine?