Snark and Soup

January 4, 2008

I need to write something snarky…I will write about the first thing that annoyed me today. Wait. I can’t write about the alarm clock. That won’t fly. Ok, I will write about the first thing that annoyed me after I had my first cup of coffee…because EVERYTHING annoys me before my first cuppa. So after that first sip, I turn on the boob tube, and guess who appears….

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My Food Network nemesis, Bobby Masa lovin’, arrogant ‘tude sportin’, and grill fetishin’ Flay. Grrr. Soup is the theme today…He just spent hours making chicken stock, and is now slicing and deep-frying fresh tortillas. Soup made the old school way, with time and wholesome ingredients. I can respect that. Plus deep-frying rocks. Wait a sec, did he just break out the can opener? He’s using canned hominy! And he’s shredding a store-bought rotisserie chicken. Dude! If you take the time to make your own stock, and fry your own goddamn tortilla chips, then roast your own bloody chicken and cook your own damn hominy. We’re at war, pick a side. Either go all-out cooked from scratch, or not. Sandra Lee, you too. “Semi-Homemade” my arse. But I forgive you because of your Cocktail Time segments, over-the-top themes, wacky tablescapes and hand-made placecards and favors. Gotta love an obsessive Type A. But back to the Flayster…who goes on to, and I quote, “Plate the soup.” No he didn’t! But yes he did. Stacking and garnishing away. I’m surprised he didn’t use a ring mold and squeeze bottle. Dahm you, Flay. Ruining a perfectly good bowl, er plate, of soup with frou-frou.

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